Classified(ish) Updates From Your Favorite Meat-Allergic Hot Mess
Welcome to the TBC Dispatch — your front-row seat to the circus that is Alpha-Gal life. This newsletter shows up in your inbox three times a week with just enough honesty, chaos, and allergy-induced rage to keep things interesting. Each email is a quick 3–5 minute read, part survival guide and part confessional, featuring everything from food fails and product reviews to real stories from readers who are also just trying to survive one mislabeled snack at a time. Some days it’s a meltdown over mayonnaise. Other days, it’s a love letter to oat milk.
Either way, it’s raw, ridiculous, and 100% meat-free mayhem.
Subscribers get exclusive tips and behind-the-scenes updates that don’t make it to the blog, including product finds, emergency hacks, easy(ish) recipes, and honest answers to questions you didn’t even know you had — like whether “natural flavors” means your dinner is about to betray you. You’ll also get first dibs on reader contests, giveaways, and the kind of allergy-adjacent nonsense that only this community truly understands. Think of it as part comedy sketch, part group therapy, and part unfiltered rage journal... but formatted nicely for your inbox.
As a thank you for joining, you’ll get a free downloadable “Alpha-Gal Survival Guide” packed with safe ingredients, brand recommendations, emergency tips, and a recipe card to help you not spiral during your next snack panic. It’s bite-sized, printable, and designed to keep you from losing your mind in the grocery aisle. Because deciphering a food label shouldn’t feel like decoding a cursed spell scroll.
The free downloadable Alpha-Gal Survival Guide will be available the week of August 10th. If you sign up before then, don’t worry — it’ll be sent to your inbox the moment it drops. And because you’re early to the party, you’ll also get double entry into our first giveaway, just to say thanks for jumping into the chaos before the free stuff even showed up.
Every email invites you to reply, react, or rant — and yes, I actually read them. You’re encouraged to forward the Dispatch to your allergy buddy, your diet-confused roommate, or that one relative who still thinks you “just need to try harder to eat beef again.” You can also share it on social and help spread the word that Alpha-Gal is real, ridiculous, and worthy of its own unhinged newsletter.
No spam. No BS. No selling your info to creepy vitamin brands. Just honest, hilarious, and sometimes helpful updates from the frontlines of forced vegan life.
JESSIE K.
“I subscribed for the allergy tips. I stayed for the love story between Dominique and her long-suffering husband Richie — part sitcom, part survival tale. It’s like ‘The Office,’ but someone might swell shut over a steak. Hysterical, weirdly healing, and 100% my kind of drama.”
BRANDON L.
“It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s accidentally inspiring. One minute I’m laughing about flax eggs, the next I’m rethinking my entire food trauma. Dominique writes like your brutally honest best friend. Subscribe immediately.”
TASHA V.
“TickBitChick is the only place where I can read about someone sobbing into a vegan marshmallow and genuinely feel seen. I laugh so hard I forget I can’t eat real pizza. Also, Richie? Deserves an award and possibly a restraining order. This blog is therapy with glitter.”